What a Rush!
Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh daily reaches millions of faithful listeners, as well as a handful of spirited dissenters. Although I once erroneously assumed that most conservatives are cyber- impaired, Rush has been online through CompuServe for many years. After all, he's a diverse man of epic proportions...but enough talk about his waistline.You can email Rush at 70277.2502@compuserve.com.
I would recommend to Rush that he should link to Web sites that...well, fit his personality and lifestyle. Those sites would be the home pages of the Butterball Turkey, Wendy's Old-Fashioned Hamburgers, Pizza Hut...and for later, that new dieting product, Thermojetics.
I would think that Rush would also want to link to sites like the NRA Home Page and the Republican Main Street, home page of the Republican National Committee.
The NRA page talks about being a responsible gun owner (of course, one could not own a gun and be even more responsible, but that's beside the point), but it doesn't link to anything regarding those nifty Teflon bullets the NRA supported years ago. Nor does it have any links to Wacko, er, I mean Waco, Texas. It does have some downloadable graphics that one could use for personal correspondence to clergy, the elderly, your loved ones and anyone else who enjoys firearms.
The Republican National Committee Page lists email addresses for all GOP Congressmen, as well as links to a variety of conservative GOP organizations. But, say...maybe he should link to other conservative Republican organizations such as the Log Cabin Republicans of Texas. After all, as a conservative, Rush might like to show arch-liberals a part of conservatism even they would not oppose.
Hail to the Chief
President Bill Clinton is just as cyber-savvy as his very good friend, Rush Limbaugh. You can email The Prez and visit the official White House home page. However, I would recommend that Bill (we're friends) add some links that are indicative of his political agenda and personal life.
Politically, the President has always been accused of waffling on the issues. Maybe he should link to the Unofficial Waffle House Home Page so his critics can see what a real waffle is. In fact, a link to the Whitewater page might satisfy his critics by showing his...um, honesty and openness. Of course, after November, he just might want to check out the employment opportunities at CareerWEB.
President Clinton is trying to improve the public's perception of him with respect to foreign relations. His link to On-line Foreign Relations might seem politically advantageous, but when Hillary surfed to the site, she found over 1,000 Russian single women looking for future husbands in the United States. I suggest that ol' Bill link to Marriage Survival Series: Staying Faithful and improve his domestic relations instead.
William...Shatner
Most people know William Shatner from his 28-year role as Star Trek's Captain Kirk. However, unbeknownst to many, he is actually a multifaceted artist. More than just an actor, he is also a director and recording artist who clearly has been robbed of his Emmy, Oscar and Grammy. No surprise here, considering he performs all of his artistic work with consistent...skill.
Shatner made his motion picture directorial debut in "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier." Judging from the critical response and box office receipts from that film, it seems only fitting that Shatner should link to the director who influenced his work: Ed Wood. In fact, very few people know this, but as a tribute to that gifted director, Shatner wanted to title his directing debut "Trek 5 from Outer Space." Unfortunately Paramount balked and was not very accommodating.
Shatner's vocal talents are celebrated in a Web site dedicated to his music; this would be a must for his home page. One can download his inspirational rendition of the Byrds' "Tambourine Man" and the Beatles tune, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," via the Captain Kirk Sing-along Page. After listening to these audio clips, one wonders why such a...talent has gone so unrecognized over these years.
Roseanne (surname du jour)
I think that my experience can benefit blue-collar comedienne Roseanne, too. For starters, she would definitely want to link to HBO as a thank-you for facilitating her television debut, and to Chee-tos Cheese Puffs for providing her original stage prop. Of course, as it almost goes without saying, her marital woes would make divorce talk a key link on her page.
If she ever encounters a shortage of writers for her show she can link to the Writers page. When she interviews potential writers she can put on a happy face—or any face for that matter—via the Plastic Surgery Home Page, though most of the show's past writers might be surprised if she doesn't link to the Manic Depression and Mental Disorder Page.
I would think she would want to link to any number of the tattoo and body art pages, as most are completely inappropriate for the families who would be viewing her site. Then again, body art for Roseanne might be more likely found in a Desmoines hardware store.
After "helping" these celebrities find URLs for their home pages, I would hope they would honor me with a link to my home page. Then again, people's senses of humor being what they are, maybe I should surf over to Searching California Civil Law first.