(a lighthearted approach to astrology as it relates to cyberspace)

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): Happy Birthday, Sag! Admit it—you’ve always felt cheated that the holidays overshadow your special day. Mark Twain knew how you feel. Think of it this way instead: the entire world is celebrating along with you.

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): This is a time to put your house in order. Take inventory of all the achievements as well as all of the failures (yes, even you’ve had a few of those this year). Once you’ve gotten all your ducks in a row, relax, have some eggnog, and check out famous fellow Cappie Federico Fellini.

AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): You like to pretend that Christmas is no different than any other day of the year, but secretly you are the first to look under the tree to see what Santa’s brought for you. This year you won’t be disappointed. You’re getting a second chance at making your dreams come true. Don’t waste it! Aquarian who walked the walk: Bob Marley.

PISCES (February 19-March 20): Like the mythical Phoenix rising from the flames, you’ve been tested this year. Now you are ready to fly up and away to the Sun. It’s never easy for you to keep your thoughts positive but it’s more important than ever to do so now. Hang in there! Albert Einstein was a Pisces, too.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Tapping into your inner child is easy for you, Aries. Nothing will lift your spirits more than spending some quality time with children this month. Leave some carrots out for Rudolph, make some snow angels, go caroling...just don’t eat too many holiday sweets or you’ll be sorry come January when your sports gear is too tight. Another Aries on a mission: William Shatner.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’re poised for a big change this year...a new job, a new home, a new baby, a new love? Anything is possible! Take the time out now to reenergize and prepare for it. Things move into fast-forward after the 27th. Ella Fitzgerald was a talented Bull (like yourself)!

GEMINI (May 21-June 21): Geminis throw the best parties and they also make the best guests, too. Case in point: Marilyn Monroe. This is your season to sparkle and shine. An idea that you have now could lead to a significant amount of cash next year. Follow your instincts!

CANCER (June 22- July 22): Hey, you! Save some of that popcorn for the tree! You’re worried that if you don’t take your share now, there won’t be any left for you later. Relax. This is a year when people will notice you, appreciate you, and give you all the love that you deserve. That’s all you really want, isn’t it? Hunter S. Thompson is your compadre.

LEO (July 23-August 22): Someone special is going to take you by surprise this year. A secret will come to light. Enjoy a peaceful moment alone before you get caught under the mistletoe with one of Santa’s helpers. Meanwhile, did you know Martha Stewart is a Leo?

VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Be careful that your generous gift-giving nature doesn’t put you in credit card debt. Taking care of yourself first is what this year is going to be about for you. Stay focused on your dreams. Meditate on Mother Teresa for guidance.

LIBRA (September 23-October 22): You’re finally getting it: what others think or say about you doesn’t matter. Be true to yourself. Everything else will fall into place. Trust me on this! Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche can give you some insights this year.

SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): Scorpios everywhere are about to get stung by Cupid’s arrow. This time it’s the real deal. Florists are going to make a lot of money off this one! Take plenty of vitamins—you’ll need them. You may be surprised to learn that Bill Gates is a Scorpio.